When a Pain Flare Steals a Special Day
/By Crystal Lindell
Sunday was a boringly normal day for me — as someone who deals with chronic pain on a daily basis.
When I woke up, it felt like someone had replaced my ligaments with concrete and I was being stabbed in the ribs. I limped to the bathroom. And for breakfast, I had four different pain-relieving drugs and a bottle of water.
After that, I laid back down and slept for another three hours.
I got up just long enough to eat lunch, which of course included a side of more pills. I grabbed my pillow and laid down on the couch in the living room, where I slept for another 2 hours.
It was a pretty routine pre-thunderstorm pain flare for me. Thankfully, I was off work, so I was able to spend the day resting.
The only problem was, Sunday was also my fiancé’s birthday.
He loves me. And he also deals with chronic pain. So he was more than happy to hang out with me on the couch all day while we watched bad 90’s movies.
He was also cool with going to pick up the toilet paper we needed and the Chinese food we got for dinner to celebrate his special day.
But I felt like crap about all of it.
I hate that I spent his entire birthday dealing with a pain flare.
He always does the dishes, and I wanted to do them for him on Sunday to give him a break, but I couldn’t. He also feeds all of the cats first thing every morning, and I wanted to do that for him as well. But again, I couldn’t.
He loves going to play basketball at the court behind our house, but I couldn’t do that with him either.
It sucked. All of it.
Eventually, the thunderstorm came, the pain relieving drugs I was taking started working, and I was able to function a little bit – but by then it was 10 pm and my fiancé was ready for bed.
Part of the issue is that I’m also tapering down on 7-OH in anticipation of the upcoming ban. Before the ban was announced, I was able to take as much 7-OH as I needed on bad pain days.
But these days, I have to use it sparingly, if at all. The goal is to get off of it before the DEA declares it an illegal Schedule One controlled substance. The only thing worse than losing access to 7-OH would be to also have to go off of it cold turkey.
But that means I’m losing days of my life again to pain. Sometimes, it’s just a random Tuesday that I lose, and it’s no big deal.
But other times, it’s an “August 9th” that I lose – and then I miss out on a special day.
